I live in a smallish town. 10 years ago when I started running, it seemed even smaller.

While I worked for the same company then ( and actually back in the same office now) I was in a more customer facing position. I remember customers coming in and telling me they thought they saw me running. Oh crap. My question would be “oh, really, where”? Which is how learned where a lot of customers lived, ha! Luckily, my only concern was that if they ever looked out a window again and saw me, they would see me running not walking.

It sounds silly and possibly egotistical but it’s one of the those I took fewer walk breaks. Especially when a couple of those locations slightly overlapped. The main bridge in town is similar. When I first ventured to runs where I was running across town, I had to use the bridge. The only way across town is by one of the bridges and this is by far the busiest. The bridge became my unintentional sprint zone. I could usually drop the pace of that mile significantly just on the bridge. Every time.

I ran that bridge this past Sunday for the first time in years. And I think I finally realized something. I no longer commute. I’m back where I started. I am older, I put back on all the weight I lost and added some for good measure. I am back to all the old, original running haunts and I can barely run.

So instead of being concerned that people would see me walking, I am now concerned that people will see me running. Or more like struggling to run. So I walk. Well, I walk when I finally lace up the running shoes and get out the door. Which, thanks to Strava, I know I only managed that 6 times in July. 6. Out of 31. That is not even 20%.

The question is will admitting it to myself be enough to change the bad habits?