I’m freaking the frak out over here. Be warned- this will be disjointed and rambling.
What the hell was I thinking? I am a Slacker- slacker’s don’t run marathons!
I’ve been a hot mess for 2 weeks. Wednesday- I dropped a 5 gallon water jug on my foot. It was full. I was bitten by a spider. Lunch made me sick. Figured out later that the water bottle also bruised my lower stomach.
Thursday- I fell off my chair. The spider bite grew. I drew lines around it. I ate Burger King while waiting in the car wash line- it was glorious.
It’s not the miles that are freaking me out- not really.
Thanks to my Fitbit, I know that every time I think about the marathon, my pulse jumps.
Back to the freakout- it’s the fog. My last race kind of scared me. What the hell was I thinking running a race in a city that named the fog?!?!?! Damn Karl.
Why have I never bought a pair of blue compression socks? I have no idea what I am wearing. Running clothes are strewn everywhere.
This was the most solid training I have ever done but I don’t feel trained. 2 months of Hansons Marathon method training for a 4:30 and I felt pretty good. Then my shins threw a bitch fit. 2 months of doing what I could destroyed any confidence the first 2 months built.
What if I can’t finish? What if I fail? Do I consider that a failure? Do you consider that a failure? How do you tell people? Well, I really tried.
Or what if I push too far? What if I should quite but don’t? So many questions!
We’re stuck between 2 fires and have had an air quality alert for days. It’s not like my lungs are getting a break.
My legs hurt and I have a wierd phantom limp.
I miss my heals. And flip flops. I am so over living only in running shoes, flats and Vans.
And on and on. I think I just needed to vent.
Thanks for reading.😭😂😛😬