15- Anxiety

I don’t have all the answers.
We’re making it up as we go.
I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve forgotten something vitally important.
I feel like I am letting everyone down.
I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I can’t shut my brain up these past few weeks. I can barely sleep Sunday and Monday nights. I need to run more than I am, not just because I am out of shape but my brain needs the cutoff. That’s one plus to being so out of running fitness, all my brain power goes to trying not break on the run.

I told myself to run everyday after work last week, but I didn’t. On Thursday I swapped the run with venturing off for groceries after work. My hope was that Thursday evening would be better than Saturday morning. It wasn’t bad but it was errily quiet too.

As an extra boost of motivation, I signed up for a few virtual races one night while staring at the tv. One of those races was the Giants Race- Sacramento 5K. Why not?

I headed out for my virtual race on Saturday afternoon. It was nice and sunny, and I figured why not? Even for a virtual race, I went way too fast out of the gate and flamed out hard by the end. I knew I was out of shape and this just kind of proved it ha! It took me 36 minutes to run a 5k! My PR is like 10 minutes faster, ha! Once I added in the warm up, I was just under for 4 miles for the day. Oh and I broke the cardinal rule of “race” day- wore something new. Oh the chafe!

I meant to run on Sunday. It was cold and cloudy and kind of perfect. But that also made it perfect to laze around under a blanket and watch tv. Can you guess which one won?

So this week, I have a new goal… try to get my head on straight. Everything else will fall in line right?

How was your week?

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