18- Farce

I am my own worst enemy and I know this.

However this knowledge doesn’t prevent me from continuing to self sabotage.

We close an hour earlier right now. So even when we are running late it’s not as late as it used to be. Is this helping me run more? It should be but instead I am at my lowest mileage in years. And this was going to be a marathon year. Now, that is highly unlikely for a variety of reasons.

I’m not having a pity party here but keep hoping that the more I acknowledge it, the sooner I might actually start to work on new habits.

However that was not last week. Last week, I only ran twice. And let’s be real, both times had more walking than running. But really any time outside moving is helpful to my mindset but I can’t seem to force myself out there.

I braved the heat for a few miles on Tuesday. I am not ready for the 90+ temps yet so kept it short and sweet with a little over 2 miles. Sluggish ones but they weren’t too bad otherwise.

Then it was a lot of telling myself to run every day after work but not following through.

Saturday rolled around and while I thought about running, I chilled with a book or 2 and took a long nap. More like coma and it included some trippy dreams too. Even running ones- I dreamed the whole bottom of my feet were blisters. It was so real, I even checked my feet when I woke up. Ha!

On Sunday, I ventured a few minutes away from my house- seriously less than 10- and hit up a trail. It has a brutal uphill-in-direct-sun beast so I was hoping it would be empty. It wasn’t but everyone maintained distance well. And I decided to go straight up the hard way. Ok, maybe I was dared, but damn my legs were shaking after that climb. The sunshine and dirt was exactly what I needed.