Tag: poser

On the Marathon

Slight left turn here, my weekly recap will be up next post.

I said I would never run a marathon.  Never had any desire to.    Vehemently shot it down every time someone asked me.    Thing is, it’s not even the marathon itself that deterred me.    I mean I am the queen of stupid stubbornness, I figured I could drag myself through one if I had to.  It wouldn’t be fun, wouldn’t be pretty, would take 10 hours, likely break me and turn me off from running forever.  Like I said, queen of stupid, I totally realize I was underestimating the thing.

What scared me was the training.    Who in their right mind signs up for marathon training?   The mere idea of a 4 hour long run at the ass crack of dawn on a weekend morning almost gave me hives. I mean have you looked at some of those training plans?  Who has time for all that?  Don’t they realize I have Netflix to watch?!    Doubt’s a nasty companion no matter hard you deny hearing it.

I am a self proclaimed slacker, laziness is my strong suit.  Just ask my mother.   I’d never stuck to a training plan for a half, how the hell would I stick one for a full marathon?   Throw in long work days and a commute and it seemed even more unlikely and I was fine that.  Until I wasn’t.

The hunt for a training plan began.  It’s easy to get lost in the sheer number of them available.   Some looked scary, some looked doable.  How do you know what to choose?  How do you know which one works for you?  For me, a person who loves sleeping in on the weekends.  For me, someone can find the simplest excuse to skip a run?  For me- who still feels like a poser sometimes?  There was one that kept jumping out at me…but it was for serious runners, not slackers like me.   That would be crazy.   But then I read the book and it didn’t help prevent the crazy.  I’ve never shared what training plan I am using because I know all you real runners would think I lost my damn mind.

So yeah, Hansons.   You know the one all about cumulative fatigue and hitting paces and no super crazy long runs?   I can hear the “WTH’s” now.   I blame Colby.  And then Allison.  ☺  Anyways, I read it cover to cover and then parts again. I stuck stickie tabs all over it.   Suddenly the crazy seemed doable.   The beginner plan looked like a chance I could take.   So I took pen to paper and mapped everything out on calendar pages.  April to race day.  Then I only looked at each month at a time.  April- nailed that.  May- I knew this was where things got intense so I made an adjustment- I dropped Friday’s run.   So, I guess this is technically no longer Hanson’s.  I Slacker-ized it.  But 5 days a week with 2 planned speed/ strength workouts was still such a huge step for me, I figured I would be sufficiently fatigued.  😛 My hope for June was to add in that 6th day.

Then I got hurt.  And it wasn’t the mileage that did it.   I only missed 4 runs in May and 3 didn’t happen until after I jacked up my shins.   I think I figured out what did me in- I ended an easy Monday 5 miler with some butt kicks and high knees.  Why? No real reason other than I watched a video on running form over the weekend.  People- if it’s not breaking you- don’t mess with your form during training!  After Tuesday’s 800 repeats, I did some more high knees and butt kicks.  By Wednesday I could barely walk.  That Thursday’s attempt at a tempo was laughable.  Everything since then has been some odd combination of the Just Finish version of Hanson’s and rest.   And I am pissed.

I was actually doing it- I was following a training plan.  Yes, it was kicking my ass but in a good way.  Tempo’s were growing on me and I was so stinkin’ proud that I was following through.  That is what this marathon training has taught me.    Doubt can shut it’s ugly trap.

There’s this tv show that I watch and there’s a character on it who says something like this-

” the souffle is not the souffle- the souffle is the recipe”

Which is finally making sense to me.   The marathon is not the prize- training for it is.  If I can train for a marathon and actually follow through with something, well, then I can do anything.  At least that’s what it feels like.

Who knows what the next 48 days will bring?  Not me, but until then I am going to #justkeeprunning.



I don’t recall the exact date but I know that I started running in 2010.  Or at least attempting to then.  My first race was that fall.   Since then I have run 13 half marathons and more than a few 5k’s and 10k’s.   All that aside, more often than not, I still feel like a poser.   Like I am only playing pretend with running.   Instead of dressing up in my mother’s clothes like a little kid, I am putting on short shorts, sports bras and compression socks and just hoping I fit in.   Oh and my ever present Garmin.

I was one of those people who said I would never run, hated it.  Drove past people running and wondered what the hell they were thinking.   Then a friend signed up for Team In Training.  Seeing her go through training for a marathon and let’s be truthful, I didn’t like the way my clothes fit, I thought maybe I would try running.    However I still didn’t start running until I purchased my first iPhone.  I didn’t want to carry a phone and my ipod, I didn’t even think about water,  #priorities.    🙂   Even that little beginning was walking.  For a while I used those crazy rocker Sketchers shoes that were popular for a very short time.  Yeah, that hurt my shins.    Then that same friend pretty much bought my first pair of running shoes.  I actually started running.  But I felt awkward and out of place.  I was torn between wanting to walk when cars drove past so they didn’t see me huffing and puffing and running faster so I looked less like a turtle when they passed.     Then a few customers asked if that was me they had seen running past their house.   Ummm, maybe?   I would ask where they lived so I could make sure to run past their houses every time after that and walk when I was around the corner.   🙂  #poser

Then came races.  Cue the doubts.  Man, these people look fast.  What was I thinking?   Oh, look at all their pretty gear.   I wonder what that does?  Hmmm, those shoes look interesting.    Hell, I ran in cotton shirts and tennis shorts for over a year.  Plus side was big pockets.   Oh and I put on weight.  Grrrrr.    That wasn’t the plan.  Running was hit and miss, I’d run 6 days in a row and then take a month off, then throw in a random race.   Training plan wasn’t even part of my vocabulary.

Then something changed.  Running became less a way to burn some calories and more something I needed to do.    Along the way,  I picked up some speed and set a few PR’s.   Hey, that’s kind of cool.   My clothes changed, my accessories multiplied both by quantity and cost and can now fill a box in the trunk of my car.    But there were times I still felt out of place, like I was waiting to be told I couldn’t hang with the cool kids.    I would stalk online race times for every race I signed up for just to make sure I wasn’t going to be last.

There are still moments, hell entire runs, where I feel like a wannabe.    Days when walking seems to be all I can do, or at least seems more efficient than the slow crawl, hobble thing I was doing other wise.   When I think everyone passing is wondering if they are gonna have to help me to my car.   Then there are the runs that start off hellishly but end on a note that leaves me feeling awesome and ready for more.  There are still race mornings when I show up feeling outclassed and outnumbered but what happens between that starting gun and finish line can be pretty unifying.

My superpower? I change from "pretty girl" to "hot, panting, smelly wad of hair and sweat" in under 30 minutes. Wanna see?

In the last few weeks I have had more #poser moments than #runner.  But those runner moments make it all worth it.  And leave me feeling the deep thoughts.   🙂   Oh and coming in last at a race?  #beentheredonethat and it’s no big deal.  And I love my compression socks.    Time to get my run on.   Well, not right now, it’s dark out.   🙂

Ever feel like a #poser?

When was your last awesome running moment?