A little venting can be good for your mental state, right?
While my statement last week about my long runs being more consistent was true, what wasn’t mentioned was all the failed long runs along the way. And they failed in spectacular ways. Like I don’t know how I ever call myself a runner ways. And I just don’t get it.
It’s not that I expect all runs to be sunshine and roses, I mean let’s be real here. There is just something about these runs that just punch me in the gut and leave me pissed off. So what is it?
The long runs where I fight my inherent laziness and get up in the morning have been pretty consistent. Slow but that’s intentional, it’s the main point behind 80/20. It’s the midweek long runs that are kicking my ass. I love getting my long run done before the weekend. Every month I work a minimum of one Saturday. That means I typically get a half day during the week. Yay for extra running time! I love getting the long run out of the way before the weekend; that way I only have a short run to fit in then I can be lazy the rest of the time. However, this year, all attempts have just sucked. Misery, straight up.
First, there was the slowest 10 miler ever in January. February saw the 5.5 mile blow up- because sitting on the ground at a busy street corner is so normal. Today- attempt number 3- 12 miles was the plan. Reality saw 7.5, painful and slow miles. Grrrr.
I was looking forward to today, I was so excited to leave work to run. It was predicted for the mid 70’s, so I was thinking shorts would be perfect. I’ve been sore and tight lately, so I also had compression socks on. On an odd note- I was tight like this last year at this time-I swear it’s like an allergy. My calves were painfully tight so I walked more of the first mile than usual. Mile 2 saw more of the same plus stopping to stretch out my calves a few times. They hurt but I was having trouble figuring out if they were hurting in a injury way or just more tightness. Less than 2 miles in and I was hot, tired, hurting and having troubles maintaining any sort of pace. I was walking more than running and felt like bailing. I considered it but decided that I was just stiff and sore and needed to get better at toughing out runs. By mile 5, I was pissed off and talking to myself, no way in hell was 12 miles happening.
I had 2+ miles to get to the car and slow running wasn’t getting me anywhere. So it might not have been the best idea but I ran fartleks back to the car. Oddly enough, I was holding goal half marathon pace for the same amount of time I had been running slowly before. The walk breaks felt better too. The only time things felt rough was when I looked at my watch and figured out I was running a sub 7 pace. Oops. Hello crazy, slow the hell down. Yeah, it was only like a minute and a half and slightly downhill but it was a good minute.
The last 2 miles helped wash the sting of the first 5ish off but I just don’t get it. Have I not adjusted to temps in the 70’s yet? I made sure to eat breakfast and a small early lunch. I usually run races on an empty stomach without fuel. Was it the food that threw everything off? All three of these horrible runs were run in shorts. I am so self-conscious in shorts right now- like I wonder if I should burn them all. Could that really make me so uncomfortable that I tank my runs? I don’t get it!!!! The more I stress about it, the more I freak out and the more the run sucks. It’s driving me crazy!
Do I forego any more weekday long run attempts? Do I get over my desire to not have to run long on the weekends I work and just do it? Do I just make the weeks I work on Saturday a cut back week? I can’t decide!
Also, I’ve been running slow for 3 months now and I feel like I am getting nowhere. You would think an 11:something pace would be something I could maintain by now but no. Do I keep putting in the slower miles? Do I change things up while I have the time before marathon training gets really real? Or did I just need to whine it out?
If made it through this- thank you!
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