Why Worry

Warning- this was a little disjointed before last weekends’ race now it may seem even more so.

I’ve been a little all over the place lately.   I don’t think I’m in a funk at the moment but I feel it getting closer.   Maybe that’s why I fixated on this damn song so quickly.  It’s not like it’s awesome but it’s been bouncing around my brain and finding ways into this blog and my Instagram over the last month.   I need to figure this out so I can branch out the music options a bit, hehe.IMG_9363I’ve been so tired lately and things just ache. My head, my legs, my ankle, etc.   My stomach responded to the new medication for a bit but then decided that was just a trick.  Even I am sick of talking about my damn stomach.  But on that note, I see my gastro again next week so maybe we will try something new, fingers crossed.     Oh, I dream big, don’t I?   🙂

As for my aches and pains in my legs, I know it’s not overuse.  Despite my goal of 1000 miles this year, my mileage has remained average and steady.   Like I wrote in my February recap, I am not going to break myself to hit some arbitrary mileage number.   It wasn’t until writing that statement that a light bulb lit up in my head.  Even then, it took a while to turn on.  Kind of like the way the original compact fluorescent bulbs used to warm up slowly?   That was me.   But once the idea was there I couldn’t shake it.  I fought with myself on every run because while part of me realized it was something I needed, it also made me feel like a quitter.   That or I was admitting defeat.  A part of me still feels that a little bit.

Where I am going with this?  Re-assessing goals.  I set a goal to break 2:00 in the half this year and I am not changing that goal.  It will happen this year but it is no longer my goal for SLO.   While I am loving my training plan for the sense of direction that it gives me, I am not 100%.   SLO is 37 days away now and I still haven’t figured things out stomach wise.   I almost skipped Wine Country because I was afraid it might interfere with the goal to break 2:00.   I finally decided that was not a good enough reason to pass on one of my favorite races.  Turns out, running it was the better choice.

I’m also changing my plans for SLO because I want to have fun that weekend.    I want to enjoy the expo and not worry about how much walking I am doing.  I want to enjoy the ambassador meet and greet and meet all the new ambassadors.  We are tentatively planning to all do dinner that night and I would like to not worry about how what I eat will affect a huge goal the next morning.   I want to enjoy the amazing scenery and crowds that are a part of this race.  Don’t get me wrong, I am running that half to the best of my ability and I will have no complaints if I PR.   But whether or not I do will not color my view of that weekend or my performance in a negative way.  I had enough of that in 2014.  IMG_9785

I love running and want to continue to improve but I am not going to lose the fun that I find in it as well.  So, yes, a part of me feels like a quitter taking a step back.   I also think this made more sense before I pulled off a 2:06 at Wine Country.  However I made the decision to push my goal back before registering for Wine Country.  So maybe the reason I ran it well was because I wasn’t stressed.   Maybe I put forward my best time since October 2013 because I finally remembered that one of my strengths running wise is in not stressing.    Well and being healthy, but I think I’ll actually break 2 before they figure out what’s going on with my stomach.  Ha!    I am sticking to my training plan because I want to improve as a runner long-term not just for a short-term goal.   This way I won’t want to cry when I am nowhere near the prescribed pace for 400 repeats.    Give me some time and I will nail those paces.   Before last week I was nervous about the hills at SLO-  now- bring em’ on.

So, tell me your thoughts?

Good choice- bad choice? 

Is this quitting or being smart?

Do you have another song co I can get this one out of my head?!

18 thoughts on “Why Worry

  1. Hang in there Fallon! I’m dealing with a similar situation with my current injury issue. You are going about things the right way … you must focus on the end game and your end game is going to be golden! 🙂


  2. I think it’s always wise to reassess your goals depending on where you are and how you’re feeling. And I definitely think it’s important to keep the fun in your running. Why stress out over a race that you’re supposed to be excited about? Just keep training, and your sub 2 half will come eventually 🙂

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  3. I think the most important thing is maintaining a love for running. If you’re stressing too much about it and not able to enjoy it anymore, then there’s no point in pushing yourself that far you know? Sometimes taking a step back to focus on the enjoyment aspect is just what our soul needs. With that said, you’re definitely NOT a quitter. Have fun with your running and races and don’t worry!

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  4. Goals, plans, and training are always changing as we go along. That’s how life is. I think it’s good that you are being flexible and mindful about your situation. Remember, any goal worth having is worth being patient for. You’re on the right track.

    Keep an open mind, too – you may surprise yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a runner say “I just wanna take the pressure off and go have fun and not worry about my time at this race,” only to end up PRing or meeting their goal.


  5. I’m a big believer in reevaluating your goals, as sometimes your life changes and you don’t want to create stress and set yourself up for failure. I think that long-term thinking and training is better than short turn breaking a PR… but, I’m not a runner, so what do i really know? 🙂


    1. Right? You never know what’s going happen or when so enjoy it while you can. I just let myself get a little distracted but the shininess of the goal and I wanted it now! But stepping back was the right idea. 🙂


  6. Smart! The whole point of running is that it’s fun – there are a bunch of other benefits (you know, lost toenails, smelly laundry baskets…), but the reason we run is because it makes us happy. I went through this kind of funk recently too – and then I had to remind myself that running is not my job, it’s my hobby. The SLO race is something to enjoy!! Have fun! The sub-2 half will come, don’t worry.


    1. Oh, my poor toenails. Sometimes I think I should never wear flip flops. 🙂 Exactly- if running was my job then stress would make sense. But no one is paying me to do this- bummer!- so why stress myself out so much?


  7. I have a terrible time with race stress. I run significantly better in training runs than in races when I am trying to hit a goal time. I’m just plugging away at racing more often so I hope eventually I’ll be less pressured on the big race days. Fingers crossed. You’re still sticking to training and hanging on to your goal. It will happen for you!


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