I live in a smallish town. 10 years ago when I started running, it seemed even smaller.
While I worked for the same company then ( and actually back in the same office now) I was in a more customer facing position. I remember customers coming in and telling me they thought they saw me running. Oh crap. My question would be “oh, really, where”? Which is how learned where a lot of customers lived, ha! Luckily, my only concern was that if they ever looked out a window again and saw me, they would see me running not walking.
It sounds silly and possibly egotistical but it’s one of the those I took fewer walk breaks. Especially when a couple of those locations slightly overlapped. The main bridge in town is similar. When I first ventured to runs where I was running across town, I had to use the bridge. The only way across town is by one of the bridges and this is by far the busiest. The bridge became my unintentional sprint zone. I could usually drop the pace of that mile significantly just on the bridge. Every time.
I ran that bridge this past Sunday for the first time in years. And I think I finally realized something. I no longer commute. I’m back where I started. I am older, I put back on all the weight I lost and added some for good measure. I am back to all the old, original running haunts and I can barely run.
So instead of being concerned that people would see me walking, I am now concerned that people will see me running. Or more like struggling to run. So I walk. Well, I walk when I finally lace up the running shoes and get out the door. Which, thanks to Strava, I know I only managed that 6 times in July. 6. Out of 31. That is not even 20%.
The question is will admitting it to myself be enough to change the bad habits?
About 7ish years ago, I went out to do one of our local trails. I remember having a pounding migraine and being only a week out from a half marathon but I thought how hard could it be?? It kicked my ass. Hard. I remember stopping at the swing partway up the trail and my legs were shaking, like a constant twitch that wouldn’t stop. And I was in pretty good shape at that point. I was with my mom and S that day and back then I would usually run ahead and then they would meet me at the top. Not that day.
Then I somehow never went back. Time has moved on and I chalked the difficulty up to the migraine. Had to be, right? My brother has become an avid adventurer who summits mountains for breakfast- like really, last weekend he did 5 peaks over 2 days. And I’m talking minimum of 11000 feet here, but he’s crazy. When he’s not off in random parts of the Sierra he has a couple local routes here… one of those involves this trail. Except he’ll do it 3x in a row and then follow it up 2 other mountain trails because these are baby mountains.😂
My memory had to be tainted by the migraine, right?
So Sunday morning saw me up bright and early (for me) and heading to the trail with my mom. We were the first ones at the trailhead but while we were getting ready, another car pulled in. I noticed both because I was glad we weren’t the only ones there and because there was something that reminded me vaguely of my grandmother. Then I put it out of my mind as we headed out.
The initial half mile while way more overgrown than I remember was also easy ish like I remembered. Once we hit the water crossing- which surprisingly was not dry- that’s where things took an uphill turn. Literally and figuratively.
I remember the trail being sketchy but I didn’t remember that many rocks. We took a break at the tree swing (which is also a newer swing) because we were struggling. Mind you, we were barely a mile in.
We were taking another break around 1.5 in and now it was more dying than struggling when the woman from the parking lot and a friend who had joined caught up to. Then passed us and never paused while still climbing up the trail.
Dude, we’d been granny’ed! But also they gave me new life goals. I want to be them!!
My mother and I continued to struggle up to the top. It wasn’t necessarily the steepness of the trail is it was the number of rocks and roots in the path. It looked like someone had decided to do some bushwhacking of their own but they didn’t clean up the cut pieces, just left them there to get slippery. Or I was just looking for reasons why it was so hard. We actually contemplated quitting but couldn’t bring ourselves too.
We finally made it to the top and headed for the old radio tower. This trail is much easier. We finally made it to the tower where the 2 ladies were sitting enjoying a nice snack. We took a few pics as my mom and I both said we were not doing this trail again, ha!
The ladies once again showed us as they headed back out…but not the way we came. Wait, when did this trail beome a loop??? It was only an out and back the last time I was here. I had noticed the new signs along the way but also wasn’t paying as much attention. Yay, maybe a less rocky way down?
And it was – for about 1/4 mile. Then it was rock city. We ended up passing up the older ladies as we made better time going down but it was still a hot mess. I tripped and turned my ankle so many times, I was alternating between shouting out mother bleeper or saying jinkies. Apparently this trail left me with no in between. The new way down was also about a mile shorter and by that time I was so damn thankful. I am so over this trail right now, it made the Grand Canyon seem like a walk in the park. And I fell on my ass twice in the Grand Canyon.
I clearly need to put in more work if I want to be those older ladies.
This week felt like it ran me over with a truck by Wednesday then on Thursday it backed up for another round. This was all work and it left me so drained. And a little cranky. I may have decompressed by laying on the ground watching the ceiling fan spin. 🤣🤣 Its surprisingly effective.
I’ve run next to nothing and I almost didn’t post but that felt odd for some reason. So, here’s a short “hey” and a beach shot from Sunday’s “long” run.
My plan of running all the miles, road or trail was thwarted by the weather this past weekend. Who ordered the above 110 degrees for 3 days in a row??? Not me. And yes, it’s actually kind of typical here for those temps in the summer. The part that made the weekend hard was that it was still hot at night too. At least by our standards, we usually drop into the low 60’s at night when it’s that hot.
I finally made it out for some miles on Sunday by running away to the coast. I headed for MDO like usual but found a completely new trail to me. Yay! It was kind of like entering a whole new world.
The trees and mountains were just so different from the other trails. It’s not the longest but still awesome. I’ve already thought of ways to add on to it as well for future adventures.
As Monday was my actual birthday, I had taken the day off of work in case I was moody, haha. It was freakin’ hot so no running occurred, boo. But I did indulge in my annual birthday tradition of eating too much at Sylvestor’s. Yum. Then I may have taken a long nap er, food coma.
Tuesday was back to work and I was looking forward to running after- I had new shoes to try out! The never ending shoe saga continues. And still continues… less than 3 miles in the Hoka’s and I swear everything hurt. My heel, then my arch, quads, then my shins. Then the back of my knee, then my butt. What the hell???? I know I should have tried them again but was too spooked, back in the box they went and shipped back. Yikes!
How many runs do you give a pair of shoes before you throw in the towel?
Both in running and life. Or maybe it’s mostly life but spilling over into running? Hmmm. Who knows.
I have a birthday coming up in a few days and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I keep joking that I’m going to wear all black and mope about it. I growl anytime someone brings it up. Which maybe isn’t so nice.
I just feel…. off. Not quite sure how to describe it.
My job is great, my coworkers awesome. My running may be measly and pathetic these days but I have 41 half marathons and 2 full marathons under my belt and not really all that many people can say that. Personal life may not be where I thought I would be at this point but is anyone’s really ever? And it’s not like it’s bad or anything, just quiet. And I like quiet. For the most part. I had some weird health concerns this year, so maybe that’s adding to it? Oh and the ultrasound came back clean so yay!
I started the week with a good run hoping that would set on the right path. Not that I know what that would be exactly. The week was as crazy busy as I thought it was going to be. I forgot what day it was half the time. Which can also be a good thing if it works in your favor. And I have another 3 day weekend to look forward to as I don’t work on Monday.
Not sure where I’m going with this maybe I just needed to vent? I’ll be back in a better mood next time, promise.
Slacker Runner 