Tag: pizza

Nonexistent Bridges

Ever have one of those days where it’s all just off?  Nothing wrong, nothing bad happens but it’s still off?  I think I have had one of those days brewing for a while.   And it was set off by a dress this morning. Disclaimer- this is longish and disjointed.

If you’ve read “My Story” page you know my mother and I set about getting healthy and losing weight back in 2012.  If not, skip it as I really need to update it- which is why I’m not linking it.    That was the first time I ever really dedicated myself to getting fit; granted it was the competitor in me that kept me going in the beginning.     Growing up I was a stick, like seriously, turn sideways and you lost me.   However it was the wrong decade for that to be in fashion, so I remember a lot of digs about my lack of curves.   One year, our team tennis skirts were handmade by some lady.  She measured us in public on the tennis court saying the dimensions out loud.    Yeah, that was fun.    One girl laughed and another responded by saying that everyone else would be a normal size while I was measured.  Whatever.   I ate like a bottomless pit so that apparently redeemed me when we went to Carl’s Jr after every away match.   Oh and lunch everyday was fries and Dr. Pepper.  Occasionally a malt.  Does anyone remember those?  I only ever saw them in the school.  I’m not a fan of chocolate ice cream but man those were good.

Senior Year, please ignore the tennis ball on the side
Senior Year, please ignore the tennis ball on the side

Then came the combination of growing up, a slowing metabolism, less physical activity, oh and let’s not forget Taco Bell.   Managers ate for free.  9 years of free food, however I wanted to make it, 5 days a week, more than one meal.   Yeah, you can guess how that went.   My stomach was a jerk even back then, so I wore the guys uniform pants which made it easier to live in denial as well.  Oddly though, I don’t remember ever really thinking about the 60+ pounds that I had put on.  Like I said- uniform denial.  blue

Then I started working with my current employers.  I had to wear real clothes!  Which meant shopping and realizing that maybe I could lose a few.   I naively hoped that no longer having access to tons of free food would take care of that.  Ha!   I didn’t take into account that while my new job wasn’t exactly sedentary it was a drastic cut back from 10 hours of standing, walking, cleaning, lifting 40 lb boxes every day.   I was also suddenly introduced to baked goods.  Who knew brownies tasted so good?  I had a new coworker who was an amazing baker.  To this day, she still makes my favorite chocolate chip cookies.   A couple years of half-assed, yo yo dieting followed, that included another 20 lbs gained then lost. I started running.    Nothing seemed to click until late summer 2012.

Second Wine Country 1/2 - 30lbs over goal?
Second Wine Country 1/2 – 30lbs over goal?

I don’t know if it was the slight competition with my mother or if I was finally just over it.   By making healthier choices and upping the exercise, we both succeeded this time, I hit goal weight in January 2013.  Sweet!   Truthfully, I think I felt the best that year, health wise, stomach wise, running wise and just comfortable in my skin.   Let me be clear that my goal weight was not some ridiculous insane number -I lost 40 lbs.

One year later
One year later
The pops again!
FYI- Pops is wearing the same jacket as the above picture

I kept it off for all of 2013 but put on 5 around Christmas.  Not a huge surprise, no big deal, I’ll just lose it again. Right?  I upped my running in the beginning of 2014 but the weight would just not leave.    I admit that part of the problem was a new “what the hell” attitude.   For example- ” I just ran 10 miles, I can totally have that pizza”.  Seriously faulty logic.  An odd note- I never liked pizza until I lost the weight.    I only ever ate it as a last resort, now I love it.    Weird right?

Then June came along, and my stomach threw its temper tantrum.  And it’s been a looooooong tantrum.  More reinforcement for the faulty logic- if everything makes me sick, guess I should eat whatever right?   Now on good days, I am up 10 lbs, on bad days up 15.  Yes, I can fluctuate more than 5lbs on an hourly a daily basis.  Stupid stomach.

I think it's weird how somedays I feel  skinny and somedays I feel like a busted can of biscuits.

It pisses me off but I can’t seem to get out of my own way.    I’ve cut back on sugar, soda, and pizza.  I’ve upped the fruits and vegetables.  I have a stand up desk.  I quit cookie Friday.  Like cold turkey- none on Fridays.   Barring the flu incident in January, my running has been more consistent 3-4x a week.    And still the scale doesn’t move.   Oddly enough, my gastro told me I looked skinny at my last appointment.   We bickered about it for a bit.  Muscle does not weigh more than fat- a pound is a pound.  And trust me, this is not muscle.

A dress made me cry this morning.   I had an important meeting at work- all the managers and executives- and I had planned my outfit for a week.  Then I put it on this morning.  I wore it not too long ago.    The weight is different this time.  It’s all in my bottom half and things don’t fit right.  I wonder if it’s part of what is slowing me down running wise.  Then I wonder if that is just an excuse I am telling myself.  Maybe I just won’t get faster.  And round and round we go.   Then there are days like last Friday where something sets me off and I eat too many donuts.   More bridges to nowhere.   It’s not even the number on the scale really.  It’s how I feel.

In fact, I am not sure where this post is going.  Maybe I just needed to vent, maybe I am looking for advice, maybe commiseration.   I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while but never followed through.    Maybe this is my way of burning bridges that lead nowhere- a trip down memory lane and some venting.

So…thoughts?  Did I even make sense?

And a light-hearted one- Ever disliked a food for most of your life then suddenly love it? 

Cake’s a Carb, Right?

Short and sweet tonight!

So, I learned today that glass scales are made of tempered glass.   They still shatter into hundreds of pieces when dropped on a tile floor; but there way fewer sharp edges.  My big toe still found a sharp one.  😦

Today was fairly calm for a Friday- woo- hoo!

My coworkers bought me these beautiful flowers-flowersAs well as pizza for lunch, they know me so well.

Then there was this cake.  Tomorrow’s race may just be fueled by cake.  Cake’s a carb, right?cake#1I managed to sneak out for a break around 4 to pick up the race packet.   That was also the first time I saw tomorrow’s new age in print, yikes!  However, the swag was kind of awesome.pierswagThen it was back to work before heading home.   This is when I had a wardrobe conundrum-piergearNow, my gear is packed.  A new playlist is ready (no Wrecking Ball), my Garmin is charged, and it’s off to bed for me.  I have a 4:30 am wake up call.  Ouch.

How was your Friday?

Anyone else racing this weekend?


Keep Left

My week of self imposed torture is almost done!   I’ve missed running and reading all your posts.   I did manage to read some posts, I tried to hit “like” on what I did read, but  my comments were kind of sparse.  Sorry 😦  Since this week has been so off and all over the place, this post is going to be a little different-

Things I’ve Learned this week-

*Procrastinating is not as cool as you think and working under pressure does not make things more exciting.  And, yes I knew that before but have been forcibly reminded.

*I found something slower than a treadmill mile- and a typo


*Compression socks are awesome for your circulation on a long drive.  However, if you are wearing said socks under skinny jeans and are stuck in traffic in a poorly ventilated car- watch out!  I was so flippin’ hot and I couldn’t loosen my pant leg enough to get the socks off.   But Pro Compression did retweet me!

*When your GPS app is telling you to keep left, you should keep left!  Instead of making it have to recalculate and circle around.  If the app could talk, I think it would have had some choice things to say.

*No matter how clean the rooms are or how friendly the staff is, care facilities are depressing.  Just straight up sad and I don’t do well with that.  😦

*Why yes, I do eat my feelings.  And it’s usually pizza.

Ok, kind of blurry, sorry.
Ok, kind of blurry, sorry.

*Running into a headwind doesn’t always suck.  For example, when its 90º+ outside.   I still walked a lot but thank you wind.   Was it too hot to run?  Possibly but after 3 days off, I really wanted to run.  Saturday’s original goal was 6 but that wasn’t happening.  3.5 instead. IMG_4560

*Visor’s really do make a difference.   Took a run break from the research today and realized I forgot my visor 1/2 mile in.  I thought I would be ok as it was 10º cooler than yesterday.  So not true.   I was hot and sweaty and sweat was dripping in my eyes.  I don’t think that has ever happened before.   I did an uncomfortable 4 and called it.

Why do my grimaces look smiles?
Why do my grimaces look smiles?

*Finding said visor and dunking it water before taking the puppy out for a puppy jog-awesome!  I was so much cooler.  The puppy also had a really good walk/jog.  She loves to roll in grass.   I think this needs to be our weekend tradition. IMG_4595

I have 2 deadlines, one Monday and one Wednesday, and then freedom!  Haha.   I am sure something else will come up 🙂


How was your weekend?

Anyone race?

Am I the only procrastinator?

It’s beginning to look a lot like…

Normally I like Friday the 13th, and I can still say that even after my first car accident years ago that was on Friday the 13th.  But yesterday was rough.   It started out good, but then a very important piece of equipment broke.  Customers were stressed, I was stressed.  We called in a tech, then the back office, then the network provider and all 4 of us had a lovely little conference call trying to figure out what the heck went wrong and how to fix it.   This felt like it took forever but I think it was about an hour and a half.  We finally got it running but still have no idea why it went cuckoo.   😦  I’m saying trickster elves.

We’ve been running a toy and food drive since thanksgiving and look how amazing our customers are-

Look at all the toys!!!!
Look at all the toys!!!!

And this is the third time it has been emptied.   It’s been this awesome at all of our locations too. 🙂

Last week, my doctor suggested (ha!) a new diet to see if it helped.   I waited to start until this last Monday because I had good food in my fridge and cabinet that I refused to let go bad.  Like apples!  I will so miss those honeycrisp. 😦    I have been so hungry all week, and after the stress of yesterday, I just wanted pizza, so I picked one up on the way home.  🙂  Yummy.  And the ingredients are not on my bad list so I can lie to myself that way right?

Today was spent errand running with a little bit of Christmas shopping.  Prior to the shopping lunch was pizza again, but this time it was Red Brick, so totally acceptable. 🙂   After a little procrastinating of the presentation that I need to work on, it was over 60° so I went for a run.   I was slow (oops pizza) but it felt good.    I even threw in a couple of hills.   When I hit the bottom of my driveway, I was close to 5 miles so I did what us crazy runners do and ran another block and back.  Finished at 5.26.    While I was adding in that little bit extra, i ran passed a house that had an inflatable Santa in the yard.  There was also a girl with a bow and arrow.  No, Katniss, no!!!  Hehe, luckily the Santa was still standing on the return trip.

Tonight was a local holiday tradition, the Vine St Victorian Showcase.  It’s also always been a family tradition to go, but tonight it was just me and my mother.  We were able to walk there also, so yeah for extra miles.  Granted, these ones were a lot colder.  The street is blocked off, the houses are decorated, there are carolers and dancers and cotton candy, hot chocolate vendor’s, lots of fun.   So to finish out this post, here is what I saw tonight. Hope you enjoy them!

This house is my favorite! I love how the ornaments float between the trees 🙂

IMG_2596 IMG_2598 IMG_2614 IMG_2612 IMG_2594 1417514_578135418923571_198879485_o

Any local or family traditions of your own?

Anyone else get a warmer day?