Tag: stress

28-Older

I took a hard turn into Funk Town last week. It was a long stop over. I may still be there.

I don’t know if it’s work being crazy busy, the impending birthday, my lack of running, lack of motivation or current events that is getting to me or all of the above. Throw in some back pain and I had every excuse in the book for last week. Not that I needed any, I just wallowed.

I may be a mediocre runner but boy am I a good wallower. I think I spelled that wrong. Or it’s not a word.

In case you haven’t guessed by now, I did not run last week. Or work out at all. Well unless you count lifting heavy boxes at work. You can’t count climbing the stairs because they still kick my ass. I should probably start making myself use the upstairs bathroom. Also, I know my back pain is partially due to my switch back to a stand up desk. I don’t have it quite right yet. I have a stool for sitting and I do but I miss my desk chair, ha!

Last week wasn’t all crazy. I may have done a little indulgent online shopping. Maybe. Did I order myself a pair of running shoes just because they would look good with jeans? Maybe.

I had a slice of very indulgent cake.

I found masks that I could talk with and not inhale and wear for 8-9 hours. Thanks Athleta. I may have to buy more. Prior to that, my best one was from Miles and Pace but I can’t wear the camo to work. Boo.

I watched a very weird, dark tv show- Fortitude. Finished season 1 and still not sure how I feel about it. Taking a moment before season 2. I also still need to replace my DVD player so I can stop paying to rent movies I already own on Amazon. I am sure they love it though.

I ate good food. Maybe too much. Sunday was my birthday and I admit I was feeling a little food drunk. I also could have just been feeling the 105* weekend though. Maybe a combo of both.

Oh and if you read my last post, I caught the giant spider. At least I am telling myself it was the same spider.

I wonder, do my running shoes miss me?

How was your week?

27-July

Dudes, it’s July.

How is that even possible?

I finished June with a measly 21 miles. Not surprising as I retreated into a dark corner after all the trauma in my town. I almost called it drama but that is not accurate, trauma is.

Last week was more trying to regain some calm. In some ways it worked, in others not so much. People’s obsession with fireworks was not helpful at all but also expected.

All that aside, last week was actually not bad when it comes to workouts- I worked out 5 times. I don’t even know who I am?!

After much consideration, I re-upped my Beachbody account. I wasn’t fond of the gym before Covid, I have no desire to go back anytime soon. That and my sedentary- ness has got to give. I do have to say that the Amazon Fire stick is a game changer. Having the workout videos on my tv as apposed to my laptop or cellphone is so much better. I completed Week 1 of Liift 4 on Monday, Tuesday and Sunday. Yeah, I got a little distracted in the middle of the week.

Thursday, I was feeling lazy. I hadn’t run after work since transferring to the new office…over a month ago. I headed home with the intention of being lazy but instead squeezed in a short 20 ish minutes- 1.5ish miles. Forward progress is the point right??

Work on Friday was insane, I just went home and hid in a dark corner. No long weekend for me.

The weekend was a warm and I slept late on Saturday. When it came time to run, it was 100*, so I napped instead. Oops.

Did I learn my lesson for Sunday? Nope. Did a Liift4 workout and then headed out. Depending on what thermometer you read, it was either 102 or 106. My run turned into a walk but forward motion, right? Plus, I have adjust to the heat at some point. A friend actually saw me out, and was confused by both my walking and the fact I was outside in that temp. I only saw one other person outside the entire time I was out there. Ha! 3 miles

So, still not a lot of miles but an overall improvement on the entire year, really. Now the question is can I repeat it?

How was your week?

26- Fade

Remember when we thought 2020 was going to be so awesome?

I take it all back.

My poor little town needs a break. Fire is a common occurrence out here, very common but I wasn’t ready for fire to come roaring out of the riverbed into the surrounding neighborhoods. And this a week after the southern part of the county had the largest fire we’ve seen in years. All homes were saved in the southern fire, not the same can be said for our small town. There was another midsize fire over the weekend too. Which again is sadly normal.

And for the love of Pete, stop it with the fireworks!

Ok, running…

Monday was lost to fire, and Tuesday was pretty smokey too.

Wednesday turned into a tilt-o-whirl. Is that what those things are called? The day started out normal but turned south just before lunch. The world started spinning and it didn’t want to stop. I ended up leaving work early which is something that does not come easily to me. I then slept the day away.

The tilt-o-whirl then left me fuzzy for a few days. At least I know it was migraine related but that does make 2 world spinning trips in the last 5 months and that is not normal.

My weekend was spent mostly napping but I did drag myself out for a sluggish 5K on Sunday. My heart rate throughout those short miles let me know I was still a little rough. And a lot out of shape. So it makes total sense that I just signed up for a mileage challenge right?

Ha!

How was your week?

25- Baby Steps

Last week was better.

Well, a mountain lion moved into one of the elementary schools but that’s far closer to normal than the previous week.

I was still coming up with any reason not to run. Too hot, too much wind. I ate too much, I didn’t eat enough. Don’t want to wash my hair, forgot my shoes. Yada, yada.

I knew I was in my head and spooked due to the previous week’s events but I couldn’t seem to shake myself loose.

I watched lots of Disney movies in the evenings in an effort to distract myself. And finally on Saturday, I ran.

I slept in but made myself run as soon as I got up. I headed across town to run the river path. Although the river bed made me nervous, I was reassured by the number of people out. I swear I have never seen so many walkers, runners, and cyclists out on the path before. It was kind of awesome. It was by no means crowded but the number of people was kind of nice. And everyone smiled as people passed.

As for the running, it was kind of rough, but really what can I expect considering how unmotivated I have been this year? But it was still a little over 4 miles.

I then somehow had a burst on inspiration and cleaned my car and overhauled my closet and dresser. Also forgot to eat until I was trying to figure out why I was so lightheaded. Oops.

Sunday, I headed out for a late morning run in my neighborhood. Forced myself to run in both locations this weekend. However I knew shortly after starting my run that it would be more of a walk. Apparently I am so out of shape that 2 days of running in over 80* temps was too much. Ha!

So 6ish miles for the week. Yep.

How was your week?

22/23 Headspace

Hello, again.

I have been struggling with motivation all year. In fact I am struggling with lots of things these days. I thought I was handling life since lockdown better- I mean I was a homebody before and I still got to go to work so in some ways not much changed.

But so much did. And that was before the job/office transfer.

I’m tired all the time, I come home after work and fall asleep. I sleep in on the weekends but still pass out for naps. I am having trouble sleeping and having trippy dreams when I do.

I’m not running, barely moving. Did I mention my new office is a 2 story with stairs and my daily steps are still crap? I know I feel better when I run but I can’t seem to make myself get out the door. There are times I change into my running clothes with the intention to run but end up napping instead. I set alarms to get up in the morning and am barely conscious as I hit snooze. I ran exactly twice in the last 2 weeks. One very hot 2.5 miler and a mashed up 5K-5Miler for Giants San Jose Virtual.

I am eating better than I was- both pre lock down and intense snacking in the beginning of lock down. That’s something, right?

Years ago, I used to get depressed around May- June. Well, I called it my dark place but I always linked it to graduation. Everyone would be posting about their plans post high school (small town life) and I was not happy in my job then. I worked with good people and made decent money for the time but that time of year would remind me that I could have tried harder or made different choices. I haven’t felt like that in years as I really do like my current job and coworkers so I don’t think I can blame my current ennui on that. 2016 would have been a different story but that’s not the point.

Actually, I don’t know what the point is. I also don’t know if it matters.