The week after my little escape was the week of Thanksgiving.
Even with the holiday week being busy catching up and being tired from the trip, I still managed to get out for 3 runs that week. It doesn’t sound like much but considering my track record for 2020, it’s pretty damn good.
Not to say it was all rosy. The more I ran, the more I noticed that my backside hurt. I knew I had a very large bruise but now I felt pain in my hips and lower back. Maybe I landed harder than I thought? So I took a few days off. Like I really need an excuse to be lazy. Plus work was a little cuckoo so I was usually beat by the end of the day.
Actually, I know part of my problem is ripping off the band-aid. That first night run every year carries nerves. Which is silly I know. I have good routes. Or I did, that is part of my issue now. I don’t run from work when it’s dark out for a couple of reasons. I used to drive to another office and run from there- I had a nice street to run on. Except now that office is my office and the street has a lot of construction right now. More than a few sidewalks are tore up and blocked off. On both sides of the street. Grrr.
Which leaves me only one runnable night route. And I am not a fan of that predictability. I admit I probably don’t think about running solo all that often (yes, I have pepper spray) but dark o’clock winter does make me a little nervous.
And then there’s morning running but then worrying about mountain lions and my beast of a driveway become a thing. Dude, I need a treadmill. Honestly, it’s not even the price of a treadmill that is holding me back. It’s that I have zero space to put it. Zero. I can’t even find space in the garage. Also, that would be fun- a 30 degree morning run in winter and 110 degree run in summer. Yay, for California weather.
Maybe I just need to whine it out before I rip off the band aid. Maybe.
Anyone else notice I skipped right past 41? I went from week 40 right to 42 last week. Oops. Apparently I forgot how to count, oops. 😛
All right let’s get to another episode of Confessions of a Chaotic Runner. Though I tried to ignore it and live in denial, by Thursday I knew I had a problem. When I had to put a customer on hold and pass the phone to coworker and excuse myself to run the restroom, there was probably something wrong. Problem is, I am so used to my stomach being an asshat on the daily due to my GI disorder that it was easy to lie myself about it being something else. I didn’t want to admit I had the weird bug going round. By Friday, I was coughing, bleary eyed, and just walking from my desk to the copier was exhausting. But I was still planning on a long run! Runners are crazy. My coworker told me I looked like her 5 year old- running a fever and ill but trying to convince her to take me to McDonald’s. Hmmm…accurate.
Monday- 3 miles Fairly, steady paced twilight miles. That will be the last venture into the actual river portion of the trail in the dark though. The most horrific, blood curdling scream rent the air just 1/2 mile from my car. WTH? What way do I go? I took the shortest path back to the street only to discover the source of the scream was a child throwing a tantrum at having to leave the park. Lady- hire your kid out for horror flicks.
Tuesday- Rest I am sure I did something else but I can’t remember what it was. Oh yes, the stomach troubles really started but I ignored them.
Wednesday- 2.3 miles Short easy miles as I was back at the lake and I will not run into twilight there due to previous creepy situations. But I got to enjoy a pretty good sunset.
Thursday- Rest I was feeling poorly but still refusing to admit that I was sick. I did let the registration window for a potential #29 close though- Ventura- so I wasn’t being completely stupid.
Friday- Sick I was still in denial. I took running clothes to work. Halfway through the day I finally admitted that I shouldn’t even be at work let alone running. But I forced myself to get through the day.
Saturday- Rest Other than running some errands, not a whole lot happened. I kept talking about running like it was going to happen but even I knew that would have been stupid.
Sunday- 5.25 milesNot sure if I would call that a long run but it’s the longest run I pulled off this week. I set an alarm for the morning but at some point in the night I must have turned it off. 😒 I still felt touch and go all day but I decided to attempt a run in the early afternoon. I maybe should have chosen a route with less hills. I wish it had been a little cooler than 80. I sat down on a wall at mile 4 because I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to finish the last mile. But I kind of had to as I had to get home. 😛
10.55 miles for the week. Kind of crappy but considering half the week was spent fighting some crappy stomach bug, I’ll take it with little complaint. I’ll save that for another week.
Truth– I didn’t run for 7 days. It made me twitchy in the beginning, feeling like I should get out and run, but the last few days the laziness felt easier.
Truth– I’m in a funk. Work funk, life funk, running funk. Can’t quite decide the best way out of the funk. I’ve considered going back to school–well, I’d have to finish it first.
Truth– Food and I have a very dysfunctional relationship. And it’s not working out anymore. It’s not like I can break up with it. For once, I’m not referring to my stomach issues. I’ve debated writing a longer post on this but haven’t figured out how.
Truth– Green tea is growing on me. Some brands taste like lemon pledge but some are pretty good.
Truth-I am trying to learn to like the treadmill. It’s a necessary training tool and if I want to run better I need to train better. Which means actually getting to the gym to run. So tonight, I laced up and ran a very slow 5k. But nothing ached for once- new for a treadmill run- so I’m calling it a win.
Truth-I love the cheesy holiday movies that are on every channel these days. My DVR is getting quite the work out these days. But-please, don’t hate me now- I am not a fan of Elf.
Truth– Tuesday was our company holiday party and I indulged with a Diet Coke- they all got wine and I had a Diet Coke. 😋
Truth– I just got distracted while typing this with one those previously mentioned Christmas movies.
Truth– I purchased a new toy- a Jawbone Up. Standing is not moving. I have a stand up desk but sadly I’ve been averaging 3500 steps a day- ouch!!
Truth– Everything said above is trivial in the grand scheme of things.
Truth– My commute took an hour and a half this morning, twice as long. But as I drove past the horrific wreck that was reason for the delay, I thought that we all just need to slow down. We all need to complain a little less and be grateful for what we have. Not only during the holidays- all of the days.
I feel all over the place this week. Truthfully probably for longer than that. * I started this yesterday but zoned out in front of a Law and Order episode. I don’t even like Law and Order.
I feel like I am falling short pretty much everywhere. I feel like I am over promising and under delivering on a daily basis. I feel inadequate.
Work-I’ve been telling myself that I’m not stressed but that’s denial talking. I can’t even remember to call the doctor on my lunch. I’ve had to make an appointment with my dermatologist for the last 4 months yet I never seem to remember to do that on lunch. I fall asleep instead. I stumble over my words on a daily basis, my hand writing looks like crap. Well, it always did but now it’s worse. 🙂 Don’t get me wrong, I really like my job, I’m just a little fried. I fell like I am short changing the new hires. There is so much I want to show them I just can’t figure out how to.
A few weeks ago I applied for an open internal position. It was different from what I am doing now- more research less people interaction. Something I never thought I’d want but it sounded it so awesome that I couldn’t pass it up. So I applied and then interviewed. Then lived on tenterhooks for 3 weeks. I don’t think I realized how much I wanted the position until I didn’t get it. I started crying on my way home last night. Ugh. I really wanted to shove a pizza in my face. Instead I rode 11.5 miles on the bike and ate some gluten free granola. Then zoned out in front of the computer and ending up eating tortilla chips later.
Running– I haven’t felt like running this week. Like at all. Normally I look forward to my runs. Yes, sometimes as the day wears on I can lose some of that energy but I always start the day looking forward to a run. This week not so much. I have had zero desire to run. Yet, I’ve changed my clothes and gone running just like my plan says. Tuesday evening’s run was pretty good but I just wasn’t feeling it. I was that horrible cranky faced runner who didn’t smile at anyone I passed. And the path was full of people! It wasn’t that I wasn’t trying to smile, it’s that the smile looked more like a growl. That doesn’t bode well for a race weekend.
Let’s be Real– Speaking of races, I feel like I am woefully under trained and not ready for what’s coming. This weekend is one of my favorite races of the year but I can’t forget how badly last year went. When my mother was so pissed that I completed the 5K she walked home. On the upshot- race morning is predicted to be in the 80’s so the chance of heavy fog seems low. I’ll deal with the warmth… hopefully.
Oh and my goal race- let’s be real here. I am not breaking 2. My speed work was hit and miss and running and goal half marathon pace never really happened. Was I stoked about the paces I hit in my intervals? Yes. But hitting a pace for 3-6 minutes followed by a walk break does not bode well for a consistent 9:00 pace for 13 miles. That will be a dream to hang on to for another day.
Ok, enough dreary, I need to dig my way out of the hole I am burrowing into. I need to find my shiny. So here we go-
Work– I have a great crew. Working with them makes the day a little better.
Running– I know that I can. I know that I will. It will just take longer. And that sunset up there? I never used to notice those. Oddly enough, running has brought back the photographer in me. I’ve just moved on from wedding pictures and almond blossoms to shoe selfies and sunsets.
Falling short– Yeah, this one’s a little harder. This may take some time. One foot in front of the other right?
Thanks for listening to me whine the state of my head. If you made it this far. 🙂
May turned out to be my lowest mileage for the year so far. This was due to a variety of reasons but at this point I calling bullshit and saying that they were all excuses and poor planning on my part. Which leads into my summer plans-
As of June 1st, I am done whining. This is going to be really hard so I may need your help. 🙂 What this means is that going forward I will do at least 10 minutes of exercise six days a week. Doesn’t really sound like anything at all, but considering all I do right now is run and sit on my butt, it’s a step in the right direction.
So I will run a minimum of 3 days a week, 4 if I’m feeling feisty. But I will focus more on quality than hitting a mileage goal.
The yoga DVD has made it’s way into the dvd player and will be done once a week, the kettle bell dvd should be done once a week as well.
Also on the plan is to start using the gym I pay for but haven’t been to in 3 months. And by use I mean something other than the treadmill 🙂
As for the no excuses, I have made a lot of them lately. Work was crazy, it was hot, my stomach hurt, I had the paper to work on, etc. Enough is enough. Work is going to be crazy until at least the end of the year, so I may as well get over it. The heat? As someone pointed out, I live in central California, it’s just a fact of life. I should be thankful that we don’t have humidity. I don’t know how anyone runs in that. My stomach? Well, realistically, it’s never going to work right, I’ve been told that, so why wait in vain for it to be perfect? As for the paper, it’s done and the class is done. Not my best work. 😦
There are 24 hours in a day and really I have next to no obligations. There is nothing stopping me from exercising before or after work other than my Slacker-ness. While it may be hot in my home town, my work town usually runs about 25º cooler. Granted, to run more than 4 miles I will have to find roads with actual shoulders but I’m sure it can be done. And if not, well then there is the nice air conditioned gym. 🙂
In keeping with this new attitude, Sunday I completed the yoga dvd and day 1 of the AB challenge that is floating around right now. After the race on Saturday followed by a 3 mile hike with my mom and the puppy that night, I gave my legs a break from running. We did the same hike as the Firehouse 5K race, it’s still hard just walking. But yoga equals exercise so day 1, done!
Monday was a vacation day for me, which was awesome. I had planned to run 6 miles in the AM and followed by a busy day of errands and helping my mother with her tennis banquet that night. I woke to find that day 2 was going to be a challenge. My stomach was horrible and there was no way I was running then. I did some thinking and knew I had a small window around 1:00 to squeeze in some miles, so I slept a little longer. By 1:00, my stomach was barely better but I couldn’t quit after a 1 day streak so I went out for a slow run. I kept it easy and walked every time it got a little worse. I came to a complete halt at 3.5 miles for a few moments but I pushed though. 4.5 miles completed! Normally, I would have blown off all exercise for the day.
I was supposed to help my mother hand out the awards during the banquet but the puppy was not doing well with the unusual crowd at the house. Finally to calm her down, I took her for a walk. It was supposed to be short, but she had energy to burn and maintained a steady pace for 2.5 miles. She never does that! So in a hap hazard way, I hit my mileage goal for the day anyways. 🙂 I only completed half of the ab challenge though, my stomach was in no mood to do sit ups or crunches.
Today was another vacation day, yay! I met a friend for lunch to celebrate her birthday tomorrow ( Happy birthday ML!). It was yummy. My stomach is still not happy so I was planning on taking it easy and doing the yoga dvd in the evening. Then I ended up helping my mother with tennis practice. It’s spring practice for fall right now, and she has like 30 girls out there. She likes when I come help because I am more of a drill sergeant out there. I lost count of how many times I yelled bend your knees. Even though that could have counted as my exercise of the day and Tuesdays are a usual running rest day, I couldn’t pass up a vacation day and not run. So I set out for 4 miles.
I don’t know if it was my stomach or just because I mentally think of Tuesday as a rest day but it was hard. I ran so slow. Then I got stuck behind a truck doing an awkward 5 point turn in mile 2 and a phone call in mile 3. Ok, I get it, not a fast run day, but still got it in. 🙂 So 3 for 3 so far! Let’s see how far I can go!
It’s back to work for me tomorrow. 😦 Plus I have to get a few miles for National Running Day! I might check out the gym equipment too. But seriously? How do you use that stuff?