Tag: work

State of My Head

I feel all over the place this week. Truthfully probably for longer than that. * I started this yesterday but zoned out in front of a Law and Order episode. I don’t even like Law and Order.

I feel like I am falling short pretty much everywhere. I feel like I am over promising and under delivering on a daily basis. I feel inadequate.

Work-I’ve been telling myself that I’m not stressed but that’s denial talking. I can’t even remember to call the doctor on my lunch. I’ve had to make an appointment with my dermatologist for the last 4 months yet I never seem to remember to do that on lunch. I fall asleep instead. I stumble over my words on a daily basis, my hand writing looks like crap. Well, it always did but now it’s worse. 🙂 Don’t get me wrong, I really like my job, I’m just a little fried. I fell like I am short changing the new hires. There is so much I want to show them I just can’t figure out how to.

A few weeks ago I applied for an open internal position. It was different from what I am doing now- more research less people interaction. Something I never thought I’d want but it sounded it so awesome that I couldn’t pass it up. So I applied and then interviewed. Then lived on tenterhooks for 3 weeks. I don’t think I realized how much I wanted the position until I didn’t get it. I started crying on my way home last night. Ugh. I really wanted to shove a pizza in my face. Instead I rode 11.5 miles on the bike and ate some gluten free granola. Then zoned out in front of the computer and ending up eating tortilla chips later.

Running– I haven’t felt like running this week. Like at all. Normally I look forward to my runs. Yes, sometimes as the day wears on I can lose some of that energy but I always start the day looking forward to a run. This week not so much. I have had zero desire to run. Yet, I’ve changed my clothes and gone running just like my plan says. Tuesday evening’s run was pretty good but I just wasn’t feeling it. I was that horrible cranky faced runner who didn’t smile at anyone I passed. And the path was full of people! It wasn’t that I wasn’t trying to smile, it’s that the smile looked more like a growl. That doesn’t bode well for a race weekend.

Let’s be Real– Speaking of races, I feel like I am woefully under trained and not ready for what’s coming. This weekend is one of my favorite races of the year but I can’t forget how badly last year went. When my mother was so pissed that I completed the 5K she walked home. On the upshot- race morning is predicted to be in the 80’s so the chance of heavy fog seems low. I’ll deal with the warmth… hopefully.

Oh and my goal race- let’s be real here. I am not breaking 2. My speed work was hit and miss and running and goal half marathon pace never really happened. Was I stoked about the paces I hit in my intervals? Yes. But hitting a pace for 3-6 minutes followed by a walk break does not bode well for a consistent 9:00 pace for 13 miles. That will be a dream to hang on to for another day.

Ok, enough dreary, I need to dig my way out of the hole I am burrowing into. I need to find my shiny. So here we go-

Work– I have a great crew. Working with them makes the day a little better.

Running– I know that I can. I know that I will. It will just take longer. And that sunset up there? I never used to notice those. Oddly enough, running has brought back the photographer in me. I’ve just moved on from wedding pictures and almond blossoms to shoe selfies and sunsets.

Falling short– Yeah, this one’s a little harder. This may take some time. One foot in front of the other right?

Thanks for listening to ~~me whine~~ the state of my head. If you made it this far. 🙂

How do you deal with stress? Any tips?

What’s an odd benefit you’ve gained from running?

Happy Friday!

Call it Craos

Tomorrow is Friday!!!! Woo hoo!!!

Lately, I have been so tired and stressed, I have troubles putting words together. Or maybe it’s the blonde coming through, I don’t know. But I have made my co-workers laugh so then it’s ok right? The first moment was few weeks ago when I was trying say one of their names. Instead I stumbled over all 3 of them and somehow combined them all into “Renini”. 3 names into 1 just makes things easier right? Then since we have been borrowing people from other locations while we work on hiring, we have had people who are surprised by how quickly we can go from calm to crazy busy. I was trying to say welcome to the crazy but accidentally combined it with chaos. So craos. Hmm, that one kind of works- change approved. 🙂 But today was the real winner. I noticed that 2 of my coworkers were wearing similar skirts and looked nice. I said I felt left out since I missed the skirt memo as the 3 of them were wearing skirts and I was wearing pants. They all just stared at me for a moment or two. Not only was employee 3 wearing pants but I was wearing a dress! Wow.

I have lost my mind ... Thanks Pinterest.

After Sunday’s race, I was pumped to run this week. I packed my gym bag every night and took it to work. Monday went off track though. Not only did Monday show more crazy CA weather, I hurt myself. Home town hit 105 and work town only made it to 59. That’s a 46º difference. Now work may be 45 minutes away by car but it’s actually less than 30 miles. What the frak?! Ugh, I wasn’t sure where to run. I’ve been feeling some odd left foot pain since I tried the Inspires. It hasn’t gone away with the new Riders. It doesn’t happen all the time but I have been trying to figure it out. I wasn’t sure if the new shoes started/ contributed to it or not. I had also picked up some store-bought insoles for the boots I wear most frequently, so maybe that was part of it. Monday I had the bright idea to take the left one out…but not the right one. Maybe that aggravated what happened later or it was when I lifted a heavy bag I shouldn’t have been lifting. But by the end of the day, I felt like my neck and shoulders were tingling and there was a band of pressure on the back of my head at the top of my spine. I felt off, not quite dizzy but not normal. It was odd. Between that and the heat, I decided to rest instead. Which worked out since my mother needed a ride from tennis practice as her car died on Sunday. 😦Tuesday turned into another rest day as I woke up feeling like I had pinched or pulled something in my neck. Grrr. Wednesday it felt a little better so I was hoping for a short easy run. Cue the crazy weather again. Work town was sunny but with high humidity. Then we find out that home town is under a thunder/ lightning storm warning and there was hail. Then the emergency broadcast system broke in and said that people in my home town should take cover. What?! It cleared up by the time I was off so I headed to run town hoping that the storm hadn’t moved south. The temp was nice in the low 70’s but the humidity level matched. Ugh. The air felt stale and stagnant. Kind of like the way the little remaining lake water looks. I struggled through 3.5 miles but was just glad to be out running. Today I took next week’s half day. I had been looking forward to running early but was feeling rough. I indulged in pizza last night for the first time in 3 weeks and my system was not happy with that many carbs. I decided to head home to rest a bit first. Arrived home to 94º. Don’t get me wrong, I love the warmth, I just haven’t adjusted yet. I decided to read some blogs as inspiration to get out the door, I fell asleep instead. Once I woke up, the last thing I wanted to do was run, but it’s become too easy to bail so I forced myself out the door. I knew it was going to be a slow, warm slog and I was ok with that. A little over 4 miles later and I was done. It was slow, it was rough but I was glad I had done it. 🙂

And now it sounds like the Army base up the road is playing war games and the house is shaking, so bring on more craos!! Also, I do realize that I have been freakishly tired lately and will be making a doctor’s appointment to see about that. But tomorrow is Friday, so woo hoo! I am picking up bagels on the way to thank everyone for their hard work, hopefully I don’t eat too many…that would be bad.

What do you think? Does Craos need an “h”?

How was your week? What’s your weather like?

Have any weekend plans?

Lack of Umph

You know that saying about the difference between try and triumph is a little “umph”? Or something like that? I’ve lost my umph. Where did it go? Can you help me find it?

I’ve been feeling adrift since SLO. I thought having no training plan would feel liberating. I mean I am a Slacker after all, I was looking forward to it, thinking it would be awesome. Yet it hasn’t been. My last few posts have talked of my lack of motivation and each one said the same thing- I need to get back on track. Obviously saying it means absolutely nothing. Want to know how many miles I’ve run in May? 26. Seriously!?? Ouch.

Work has officially hit crazy, and my hours got a little longer, like open to close. Friday is the biggest change, last Friday ran around 11 hours. However that should be no excuse to be lazy. Maybe I should just try to go to sleep earlier. Ok, that one made me laugh a little. What time did this post go up? I also need to work on my time management skills outside of work but that’s for another post. Anyways, time to ~~hopefully~~ actually follow through with what I say. So to that effect, I planned out a race schedule. With a goal race. So here we go.

May– Bands on the Run 10K
June– Talley Vineyard 10K
July– Rock’n around the Pier 13.1 and a possible 4th of July 5kAugust– Trail 25K
September– Central Coast Cancer Challenge 10k, HOB Fun Run 10K/ 5K
October– City to the Sea 13.1 (GOAL)
November– Big Sur Half Marathon

A race schedule seemed to work for me before, so let’s try it again. Since I really think my training plan for SLO worked, I am going to re purpose it for City to the Sea. That is also where I set my half marathon PR and I love the course…except they changed the course this year, so we will see what happens. Now, this plan is flexible, life does happen so I may adjust things if I have to. May, June, HOB and Big Sur are the only ones set right now.

Most of this was thought out after a truly lackluster weekend of running. I ended up napping on Saturday- again. Sunday did see my longest run since SLO- a slow 10K. I ran a 10:52 pace which is great for an easy run which was the goal. What was not so great was how hard it was. I was huffing and puffing the whole way, that pace felt more like race pace than easy run. Ugh. That was not confidence inspiring, but rough runs happen and we move on. But I was out there long enough to think of all the reasons I have been lazy and what I can do about it. I am 20 weeks out from City to the Sea and I am aiming for a 16 week plan. The next 4 weeks will be testing a couple of new weekly schedules out since this newest one isn’t working out so well. 🙂 Plus I need to figure out what works best with the work schedule. Running later in the evening makes it harder to sleep and now I have to get up earlier so that probably won’t work, but I will figure it out. I also need to figure out how to stop the stress eating that has been happening for 2 weeks.

What do you do when you lose your “umph”?

What’s your race schedule look like?

What do you do when you’re stressed?

Feeling the Need…To be Stupid

I stopped speed work a few weeks ago when I started feeling tightness in my hamstring. After some slower weeks, and more stretching, I figured I would give it a shot. The plan called for 6-8 400 repeats with a 200 m recovery jog in between. Followed by 3 200m strides with a 200 recovery in between, all sandwiched between a 15 minute warmup and 15 minute cool down. That sounded like too much of a push so I adapted it some- you know Slacker Style. 🙂My warm up turned into just over 16 minutes as I ran through a horde of gnats. I then ran while flailing my arms around my face trying to disperse them. Yuck!! Oh well, the people in the playground area probably had a good laugh. Since I was running the intervals at the lake path I figured I would run the intervals on the back side of the lake and take a longer recovery on the front side when running through the parking lot and playground area. I completed 4 400m intervals and 3 200m strides. Except the lake path isn’t the track and I don’t know how to program that into my Garmin so it was actually 4 1/4 mile repeats and 3 .12 mile strides. That is what my brain was capable of computing. 🙂

So for my 1/4 mile intervals I hit 2:04, 2:08, 2:16, 1:59– 8:00-8:24 pace.

My strides (.11-.13 miles) came in at :49, :59, :59—7:32-7:58 pace.

I also didn’t check what pace I should have been doing so there was less pressure on me. Which was a good thing because for a 1:59:00 half I should have been hitting 1:30 for each 400, ouch. And when I plug in my last half, I should have been hitting 1:46. Double ouch. Whatever, the paces I hit were still faster paces than I have been hitting lately. Bonus was that my hamstring never complained while running or later that evening. I wasn’t all out sprinting ever, I made sure to keep my breathing fairly steady and I didn’t want to aggravate my left leg. So I am happy with how my return to speed work went. I was super excited that I finally hit 5 miles at 49:30, I was under 50 minutes for the first time in months, but I hit lap instead of stop on my Garmin. Boo!!!

Thursday was supposed to be an easy run. I was looking forward to both the easy pace and that I had a half day so I was able to head to the river path to get in a run. It was a little warm but there was a pretty good breeze. I really do like that path, it has black top, concrete and dirt. It’s a good mix. There are more than a few intersections (housing tracks) to cross but most of the cars always let me cross first. Even when I would like the break. 🙂 I had a problem with the easy part though. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have been aiming for a 10:45 average this close to a race. What do I do? Run an 8:26 mile. Seriously!? Yes, I know I should have slowed down but once I was part way through, I wanted to finish it. Stupid. What was I thinking?

So, yeah, I was a little sore today. I made sure to stretch and ice a bit. I wore compression socks inside my boots as well- pinstripe dress and argyle compressions socks. I’m so stylish. Then again who dressed me for Thursday’s run-

Stupidity aside, I am looking forward to the race. I am not treating it like a race but a long run. Just with a couple hundred friends and aid stations along the way. I love this race and I say this knowing the hill at the end will kick my ass, just like it has before. I like to call it the death hill, partly because of its’ incline and partly because it’s at mile 12. It’s time to add a new wine glass to my collection, too bad I don’t drink. 🙂 I just wish I didn’t have such a busy day tomorrow. With work and errands and packet pick up, I already feel short on time. Crap- I need to go to sleep!

For reasons why I am so nostalgic about Wine Country, read here and here.

Who else is racing this weekend? If you’re in CA, it’s gonna be a hot one!

Ever done the exact wrong thing on your last workout before a race?

Did you ever notice that average pace on the splits screen is different than that on the main screen? The main screen has Thursday’s average pace at 10:18 but above says 10:47.

Horrible to Harmony

This week was rough. Which was shown partly in my lack of posting.

The Horrible-

So in an effort to not whine too much, here’s a brief recap. Monday was a typical Monday except that my stomach graduated from asshat to bastard level and that continued through Wednesday. Good thing I don’t run on Monday’s right? Tuesday I was all set to run but my dad had a phone emergency (he’s on my plan). There was no way for me to run and go to AT&T and still eat dinner at a time that wouldn’t piss off my digestive system further. So no run. Wednesday- usual rest day but I needed and wanted to run after missing the day before. After finishing up at work I headed to the lake path hoping I had enough time to get in 3.5 miles before it got too dark. It was a horrible, miserable run. It wasn’t even because of my achy legs or hamstrings. Those felt fine. My stomach was horrible, my toes hurt and my head was not happy. I called it at 2.5 miles.

Waking on Thursday, I found that the headache that had been playing peak-a-boo for days had turned into a full on migraine. Stupid hormones. I thought about calling in but I am covering another location while their manager is out and knew I couldn’t do that. One plus, is that it’s a shorter commute. Never having worked in this location before I kind of felt like I was putting out fires all day and I didn’t know where the fire extinguisher was. The day ran late and by then my head hurt so bad and I was so nauseated that I didn’t even attempt to run. Friday was more of the same head wise, work was a little calmer though. My head hurt so bad that I actually took 2 Aleve for it Thursday. One thing I’ve never mentioned here is that I dislike taking pills. Maybe because I have so many prescriptions as it is but I rarely to the point of never take something for pain. My go to is an icepack for pretty much everything. I didn’t realize how shocking it would be for me to take something though. I had some interesting reactions when I mentioned it to some people. It was useless anyways, they didn’t help. Oddly the only thing that helped was food. Not only food but greasy food. I ate In n Out 2 days in a row for lunch. The pain actually eased for a few hours. But I was so ready for the weekend by the time work was over. Harmony-

Saturday I was super tired and though my headache had eased, it was still lingering. I slept in before heading to SLO with my mom. It’s kind of a monthly thing. We had both taken running gear so we could potentially go on an easy hike. I wasn’t sure I would be up to it but I felt like a sloth. Particularly after 2 days of fast food. 😦 After a good day of shopping we headed to the Harmony Headlands. It’s short, 4 miles out and back, easy, not technical at all, and has a gorgeous turn around. Let’s be clear, this was not a run, it was supposed to be an easy hike. Which for the most part it was, but damn my mom walks fast. It was hard to keep up sometimes. I know I had an off week but come on. But that’s ok, the scenery made up for it. Plus the weather was awesome. I had some phone problems so I didn’t get a lot of pics from the start of the trail but I figured it out by the end.

All in all, it was a great way to end the day. My legs were happy and my head was good too. And we may have seen whales!!! Well just the spouts, still cool though.

How was your week/ weekend?

Ever had a headache that wanted food? Or am I just weird?