Tag: stress

Marathon Musings 2

It’s week like this that freak me out about marathon training.

Last week, I was riding the high of my highest mileage week ever and I was stoked. This week? Three days off… in a row. Oh crap, is the real Slacker back?

Cue freak out. The plan I am following is pretty specific. Do the work outs when and how prescribed. Be as consistent as possible. Yes life happens but try to keep the volume consistent and lower the intensity if needs be. Did that happen? No.

Poor planning and faulty equipment brought about Monday’s missed run. I had a procedure done and the odds of running afterwards were unlikely but I was holding out hope. Then my damn car died in the parking lot of the doctors office. Seriously?! I took it as a sign that I shouldn’t be running and sweating all over the new cuts I had on my body. I figured I could make up the missed miles on Friday. Maybe.

Tuesday called for 800’s and I was excited to run them. I kind of love intervals and wanted to see how I fared. Except, the worst allergy day of my life sent me home from work where I proceeded to nap for 3 hours. On the floor. Maybe it was a gnarly head cold but all I know is that it got progressively worse from Sunday until Tuesday when my right eye was almost swollen shut. What the hell.

Wednesday wasn’t much better. My eyes were open and I made it through a full day of work but still felt crappy. Running was out the question though. New carpet went in at home on Wednesday so that evening was spent furniture moving. Can I count that as a workout? I actually cleared 10,000 steps which I only do when I run. 😛

I did so good for 7 weeks but week 8 is kicking my ass. Now I am freaking out. What kind of fitness am I losing? Or not gaining? Next week’s intervals are supposed be 1K repeats. Do I stick to the plan or run the 800’s I missed? Next week also sees my tempos increase to 8 miles. I’m not ready! I need to reread the book again.

Speaking of next week- I am supposed to be running a half marathon on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. I was torn between using it as part of my long run or using it as my tempo since the miles are supposed to increase next week anyways. It’s on the beach so I figured marathon pace would be a good goal for it. Something made me double check the time. 10AM!!! What the hell!!! This is California for crying out loud. I have never had any race start that late. Not even a 5K.

I have a few concerns with this. 1- the temp. It’s in work town and the temperature is usually fairly moderate but I would be finishing after noon so who knows? 2- food. I don’t fuel before half marathons or long runs yet. But I am also used to a 7AM start for races. I think I would have to eat something before a 10AM race start. Which wouldn’t be a horrible thing since I do need to get used to fueling more. But that leads to concern 3. 3-bathrooms. Food could make me sick; my stomach has a proclivity for going wonky at the worst times. What do beach races usually not have? Bathrooms. Ok, technically, there are bathrooms at 2 points but they are off course and would add 1/4-1/2 mile if needed. Plus that would be across soft dune sand. Grrrr. I am seriously considering running the 10K instead.

So help me out…

Half marathon or 10K?

How much ~~damage~~ will this week set me back in marathon training?

2016- Breaking Free

It’s that time of year! Social media is filling up with goals and resolutions for 2016. For runners, that often shows as mileage goals, pace goals, race goals, etc. Along with all the other things we want to accomplish in the year to come. So without further ado- here are my goals for 2016-

No need to refresh your screen, there’s nothing there. I’m not setting goals for 2016.

There I said it. I’ve had this post half written for months, talked about it with my mother, talked about it with my boss. But clicking publish? Sharing it with a community who thrives on goals? A community that uses hashtags like #goaldigger? That was harder than I thought. So let’s break it down.

I set goals in 2014 and 2015. 2014 was about 50/50 for goal completion. 2015? I didn’t compete a single goal. Not one. 2015 was a stressful year, and worrying about hitting some arbitrary mileage/pace goal wasn’t helpful in calming me down. Feeling like I “should” run just to add to my total was harshing my running joy. That’s just one example. 2015 also had it’s share of shiny and that will be up in my next post.

Now, this is isn’t to say that I don’t want to improve. I do. I will continue to search for the training plan that works for me. I will do my speed work and my long runs. I will enjoy my easy runs more. I will still track my mileage and the paces I hit. Just not for some random number total I pick because I think it looks good. I want to become a better runner, but in a more natural, linear progression kind of way. Because I enjoy running enough to do it often and not just because I should get in that extra 3-4 miles. I will still recap my training and running, I like sharing with you all and I look forward to the feedback. Between this blog and Timehop, I am able to look back at the way things have changed for me over the past few years. I still like looking at all the numbers; I just need a break from the pressure of feeling like I don’t measure up. I used to care less about how I measured up with everyone else and I need to get back there. Back to basics, I was there in 2013, can I find that calm again?

2014 started a ball of stress that grew and grew in 2015. I felt like a boulder being rolled down a hill picking up mud along the way. Some of the stressors are things that I am not currently in the position to change, others I can. Starting with how I react to it. I did a piss poor job in 2015. Going forward, I want to focus on calming the hell down. And turning to food less, but that’s another story.

I want to try to focus on finding the shiny in things in life. Running should be one of those things. Now I realize that most of my runs will be hard and tiring and there will still be days I want to quit but I used to enjoy the hard or rough days. I haven’t in a long time. I need to change my mindset and in order to do that “goals” and I are taking a break. Goal has become a four letter word in my book, it’s joined the ranks of “potential”. I dislike that word and try to never use it but that’s not the point here.

Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having goals. I just need a break from them. Call it a trial separation. Maybe this won’t work, maybe it will. Either way, it’s something I need to do. The journey to an improved Slacker starts now but goals are not invited on this road trip.

So, are you still with me or have I scared you all off?

State of My Head

I feel all over the place this week. Truthfully probably for longer than that. * I started this yesterday but zoned out in front of a Law and Order episode. I don’t even like Law and Order.

I feel like I am falling short pretty much everywhere. I feel like I am over promising and under delivering on a daily basis. I feel inadequate.

Work-I’ve been telling myself that I’m not stressed but that’s denial talking. I can’t even remember to call the doctor on my lunch. I’ve had to make an appointment with my dermatologist for the last 4 months yet I never seem to remember to do that on lunch. I fall asleep instead. I stumble over my words on a daily basis, my hand writing looks like crap. Well, it always did but now it’s worse. 🙂 Don’t get me wrong, I really like my job, I’m just a little fried. I fell like I am short changing the new hires. There is so much I want to show them I just can’t figure out how to.

A few weeks ago I applied for an open internal position. It was different from what I am doing now- more research less people interaction. Something I never thought I’d want but it sounded it so awesome that I couldn’t pass it up. So I applied and then interviewed. Then lived on tenterhooks for 3 weeks. I don’t think I realized how much I wanted the position until I didn’t get it. I started crying on my way home last night. Ugh. I really wanted to shove a pizza in my face. Instead I rode 11.5 miles on the bike and ate some gluten free granola. Then zoned out in front of the computer and ending up eating tortilla chips later.

Running– I haven’t felt like running this week. Like at all. Normally I look forward to my runs. Yes, sometimes as the day wears on I can lose some of that energy but I always start the day looking forward to a run. This week not so much. I have had zero desire to run. Yet, I’ve changed my clothes and gone running just like my plan says. Tuesday evening’s run was pretty good but I just wasn’t feeling it. I was that horrible cranky faced runner who didn’t smile at anyone I passed. And the path was full of people! It wasn’t that I wasn’t trying to smile, it’s that the smile looked more like a growl. That doesn’t bode well for a race weekend.

Let’s be Real– Speaking of races, I feel like I am woefully under trained and not ready for what’s coming. This weekend is one of my favorite races of the year but I can’t forget how badly last year went. When my mother was so pissed that I completed the 5K she walked home. On the upshot- race morning is predicted to be in the 80’s so the chance of heavy fog seems low. I’ll deal with the warmth… hopefully.

Oh and my goal race- let’s be real here. I am not breaking 2. My speed work was hit and miss and running and goal half marathon pace never really happened. Was I stoked about the paces I hit in my intervals? Yes. But hitting a pace for 3-6 minutes followed by a walk break does not bode well for a consistent 9:00 pace for 13 miles. That will be a dream to hang on to for another day.

Ok, enough dreary, I need to dig my way out of the hole I am burrowing into. I need to find my shiny. So here we go-

Work– I have a great crew. Working with them makes the day a little better.

Running– I know that I can. I know that I will. It will just take longer. And that sunset up there? I never used to notice those. Oddly enough, running has brought back the photographer in me. I’ve just moved on from wedding pictures and almond blossoms to shoe selfies and sunsets.

Falling short– Yeah, this one’s a little harder. This may take some time. One foot in front of the other right?

Thanks for listening to ~~me whine~~ the state of my head. If you made it this far. 🙂

How do you deal with stress? Any tips?

What’s an odd benefit you’ve gained from running?

Happy Friday!

Week 15 Recap- Extremes

Week 15?! My race is almost here? How did that happen? I haven’t even registered for it yet! Well, crap, I better get on that. Right after this damn heat wave leaves.

Monday- Rest

Lugging one less bag to work on Mondays is kind of nice. Think I’ll stick with this Monday rest thing. I was going to come home and ride the back but I decided to dye my hair instead. #byebyeblonde

Tuesday- 4.51 Miles

Holy speed, Batman, I ran a 7:49 mile?!?!? Awesome! I’m still kind of stoked about that. If you missed me shouting it from the rooftops, you can read about it here. 😃😄

Wednesday-Rest

Day from hell. For reasons I can’t say, the day went south real fast in the afternoon. If there was ever a day to drink, it was this day. But the only alcohol in my house is Patron and I wasn’t feeling shots. 😏 So I ate pizza instead.

Thursday- 4 Miles

It was in the low 80’s when I started my run and it was so nice. There was a nice breeze too. It later turned into a pretty strong headwind but that’s not the point. The cooler temps were amazing, this run actually felt comfortable. I wanted to keep running for a few more miles. But the downside to the cooler temps is the quicker setting sun. And the river bed is not really the place for a post twilight run. But it was a 4 solid miles. ✅

Friday- Rest

Day 10 of 11 in a row working. Stick a fork in me, I’m done. I really did think about getting on the bike when I got home but just couldn’t make myself do it. Plus the heat had come back and my house wasn’t much cooler than outside.

Saturday- 7.5 miles bike

Day 11! With a projected high of 100 I knew I wasn’t running after work. Unfortunately I am just not fast enough to pull off a long run before work on Saturday’s. Even with it being a later start, I still have to be on the road before 8. So errands, laundry and biking was it for the day.

Sunday- 6 Miles AM, 3.2 Miles PM

Shot myself in the foot on this one. I needed to a run a 12 miler. Needed it for this training cycle and mentally because I have as serious mental block with a 12 mile training run. It was also predicted to be 101. My alarm was set for an early morning run, I even managed to go to bed around the 11:30 on Saturday. I was going to do this. Then my alarm went off.

So, the average hours I sleep every night run around 6. And those aren’t a good 6. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in so long I can’t even remember. Until Saturday night. When that alarm went off, I didn’t even think about it, I turned it off. I was in such a good spot sleeping, I wasn’t wasting it. I had a back up alarm an hour later anyways. Except it was turned off in the same way. The sleep was seriously awesome. I did eventually make myself get up and got ready to run. I was out the door by 9:15. It was already warm so I knew I wasn’t finishing 12. So I planned to get in as many as I could before I felt too hot and then do the remainder at the gym a little later. Not ideal but better than nothing.

I pulled off a slow, hot 6 miles before calling it. After a few more errands I was on my way to the gym. I was taking my mom to the movies later so I wasn’t sure I had the time for 6 anymore. Thanks to some stupid shorts and some horrible stomach cramps I only pulled off 3 miles. I started to feel better around 2.5 miles but the first part took so long I wasn’t getting much farther. So I called it and went home to shower for the movies. 9 miles for the day- not what I wanted but not too bad either. I don’t regret the extra sleep at all. I needed that. 😏

The movie- The Scorch Trials– was awesome and the popcorn was a yummy consolation prize. Oh and that temp? We broke records and hit 105*.

Paleo- C

Honestly, this might be a B. I was pretty behaved last week even with all the stress. I didn’t binge on chips or cookies and after Wednesday, I could have rationalized it. But I didn’t. However, I did eat pizza twice and had the popcorn and some candy at the movies. So I am sticking with the C.

Considering the chaos of last week, I am actually content with the training I got in. They were all solid miles that will only help me grow as a runner. I am thinking more long term than short term here and that’s what counts- running for a long time to come. Not just for my upcoming races. 😊 And there was that fast mile! Yeah, I’m going to hang on to that for a while.

Now this week- My boss is on vacation still so one more week with little breaks is on tap. That’s ok, I can do it. Then this weekend is my favorite race of the year! Woo hoo! I will be racing a 10K on Sunday and running a 5K right after. 😜 Oh and volunteering the day before. Love it.

How was your weekend?

Tell me all about your fall weather- I need to live vicariously right now.

Ever run double races?

Week 12 Recap- Crash

Last week I jokingly said that the week felt like a truck had hit me. Be careful what you say- this week a truck literally did hit me. But more on that fun morning a little bit later. So let’s get to it! I started the week with a fun doctor’s appointment where I got to swallow what looked like plastic toys and get x-rays taken. I would return later in the week for more x-rays.

Monday- 3.5 miles

Slog fest. After having a few days with no running I was really looking forward to this run. I had a seminar on Tuesday evening so I had to push the run up a day. Monday was the start of a heat wave but it was only in the low 90’s when I got to the lake after work so I thought it would be fine. I don’t know if it was the heat or if I was still feeling poorly but this run was rough. I felt like I never even got started. I wanted 4 miles but the idea of running past my car only to turn around was not appealing. I called it when I hit my car.

Tuesday- Rest

So yeah, that run was apparently too hot. I felt a heat headache coming on Monday night and tried to head it off by sleeping with an ice pack. No such luck. By the time I got off work Tuesday-late- I felt like my head was going to crack open. I had no idea how I was going to handle a seminar. Thankfully my mother wasn’t feeling well either. Since I was getting into the seminar with her when she decided to not go I was thankful. We went to pizza instead. Comfort food for the win. #paleofail

Wednesday- Rest

The week’s speed work was on tap. However the events of the drive home changed that. I was just a little too shaky after. So comfort food again- a yummy quesadilla. #paleofailagain

Thursday- 6.61 miles -Intervals 😃😄🎆

Predicted temps were 105* so I knew I was headed to the gym. I knew I was going to have to make some adjustments to the workout due to my stomach but I was hoping to get as close to the plan as possible. I took my warm up super easy. Partly because it takes me forever to find my groove on the treadmill and partly because I was trying to ignore the fact that nature was calling. I have to drink less after 4 pm, seriously. Finally I just got over myself and used the restrooms before starting the intervals. Might as well take advantage of the gym right? The plan called for 3 minute intervals at 10K pace. I have no idea what my 10K pace should be- my PR is over a year old. So I figured I’d wing it. I set the treadmill to 7 which computed out to 8:57 a mile. Ok not bad, I figured I would see how I did. The first 3 intervals went well so I stepped the next 3 up to 7.1. Which according to the treadmill is an 8:37 pace. My math doesn’t agree with that but oh well. The 3 intervals were going well but I could tell I was tiring by the 6th one. So I did one last interval at 7.2. Boom. Just kidding, couldn’t help myself. 😃 I only managed a 13 minute cool down as my stomach cramped pretty badly. But it let me complete the majority of the work out so I’m still calling it a win. This was pretty awesome run. I felt strong for the first time in months. Now if only that feeling could stick around.

Friday- Rest

I had my last set of x-rays that morning so I was taking care of that before work. Apparently life decided I hadn’t had enough excitement during the week and I was in an accident getting off the freeway. I stopped at the red light at the end of the off ramp and the truck behind me didn’t. 😂 Seriously?! I was in disbelief for a moment- did that really just happen? It did- we pulled off the road and did the exchange of information bit. He was super apologetic but I was kind of still in disbelief. The irony of the timing of my previous post going up was not lost on me. His all metal truck was fine and my car was drivable so we went our separate ways.

I headed to the doctor for my x-rays. I also called work and let them I was going to be later then planned. I then took my car to my dad to have him check it out before I headed to work. I know he couldn’t see everything but as a former mechanic I knew he would know if there were any trouble spots. My bumper is pushed forward, as well as a hole in it and my trunk is jacked up. Other things sound odd but I am thinking optimistically. I then started a claim with my insurance just in case before I finally headed to work. I’m not sure how much use I was though. 😐

Saturday- 5.5 miles bike

I spent most of the night before sick due to too many comfort food meals (pizza again Friday) and I woke up super sore. I had really wanted to do my long run that morning but there was no way. I tried to ride out some of the stiffness on the bike but no luck. My stomach didn’t appreciate it either so I just decided on a rest day.Sunday- 7.1 miles

I slept like crap again, so I was late getting out the door. I was still sore but thought I could run it out. Ha! Plus while the temp started in the 60’s it jumped drastically by the halfway point. Like 20 degrees. Really, I would call this more of a walk. I averaged a 13:00 minute pace. I was thisclose to calling my mom to come give me a ride. Since I say a long run is anything over 7 it’s not a complete fail but I am not sure if it was helpful. Slow mile better than no mile right?

Overall, this week had its high points and its low. Way more drama than I would have liked. I need a vacation. The last few weeks have been hit and miss with running. If I hit a speed work out I miss the long run and vice versa. I really wanted to hit both this week. I didn’t say it in my last recap but that was a huge goal for me this week. I feel liked I missed it again. Yes, there were extenuating circumstances but I feel like I fall back on that excuse a lot. I need to get out of my own way, but more on that in another post. Now I have to figure how to structure this week as I have a 5K on Sunday. That is freaking me out a bit.

Paleo- C-

That may be aiming high considering how much “comfort food” I ate this week. My stomach did not appreciate it by week’s end either. I know what I did wrong though so it’s fixable. Lunch and breakfast is still on track.

How was your week?

Ever been rear ended? Should I just stay off the roads?

Anyone racing soon?